Updated: Feb 18
‘Am I good enough?’
This is a question that will always plague us as mothers, especially mothers in business.
Handling a business along with being a mother can be hard and for some mothers they may lay awake in the middle of the night questioning themselves.
The moment we step into the realm of motherhood, we start thinking about whether we are good enough or not. The most essential point about this question is that it is natural. Whether you are a new mother or a mother to three, four or five children, this question may become part of your life forever.
So, if this question occasionally keeps you awake at night, it's alright. It's healthy. We should question our motherhood once in a while. This not only keeps our relationship with our children strong, but it also keeps our relation with ourselves healthy which is very important.
Draw the Line
There may come a point when this question, ‘Am I Good Enough’ starts to overwhelm you. It burdens your conscience. Ironically, asking this question too much might even keep you from being a good mother and hold you back from reaching your goals.
The moment we start to burden ourselves, we start losing our peace of mind which can affect our emotional state.
Don’t be perfect, perfection is just a myth.
It is vital to recognise that you cannot be perfect. Racing towards perfection is the biggest imperfection itself. There was no manual, exam paper, textbook or a degree course you undertook before you stepped into the world of motherhood. So, it’s natural to make mistakes.
When you are trying to balance your work life with your life as a mother, you may not always succeed in achieving the balance you desire. You will make some mistakes and face challenges which is the natural course of business but inevitably it will aid your growth.
The key thing is to learn and grow from your mistakes and challenges. The challenges your overcome as a mother will help you to grow and as you grow from those challenges this will enable you to inspire your children and those around you.
Grow with your children
Most mothers are mistaken that they are grown-ups and now it’s time to raise their children. No. We might be ‘grown-ups’ who can drink hot tea without burning our tongues, use the matches without burning the kitchen down, be employed etc, but we are not completely grown yet.
We grow with our children. It’s not just us who teach new things to our children. Our children also teach us something new every day. So, if you are a mother, it does not mean that your growth has become stagnant now, if anything your growth will flourish even more with every new challenge that you meet.
You will keep growing as your child grows. So, mothers should not be scared of growing up with their children. If you burden yourself with ‘Am I good enough?’, neither you nor your child will be able to grow to their full potential.
There is no perfect questionnaire that can answer your question precisely. There is no checklist that you can tick off to judge yourself.
If you keep pondering over this, you will lose your self-confidence. You will lose trust in yourself. And this is the worst thing that you could do to your child. So, you must draw a line in doubting yourself.
Its important to remember that if you trust and believe in yourself, only then will you will be able to contribute to the emotional well being of raising a child. So, stop comparing yourself to someone else or another mother as everyone has their own challenges they are dealing with. The important part is that you do your best as a mother.
If I were to give a one-line answer to your question, I would say that your best is good enough. So, next time you start to question yourself, ask this: Am I doing my best for my child? rather than am I good enough?
So, my dear Mothers in Business, if you still find yourself wondering, "Am I good enough?”, say YES!
You will realise that all the solutions lie in the answer to this question.
Guilt is natural, guilt is common, don’t fight it, learn to manage it.
You will only be good enough when you believe so. Whether it’s about your children or your business, you should always come first, look after yourself so that you can look after others.
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